i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize