from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i just sent this text using only my big toe
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
