"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
