This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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