Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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