you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
