i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
