Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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