I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
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To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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