Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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