8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
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So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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