marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize