bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?