the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
How many fucks given?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.