its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY