There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize