I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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