It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
