Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize