meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
We don't watch enough power rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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