I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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