i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
