It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
