Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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