I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
