I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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