I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Hippo gnu deer
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
