Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
