i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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