On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
