Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
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