he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
