I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
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