We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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