Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
my shit smells like andre
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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