So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
