He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going