yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet