I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.