So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore