I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.