Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
