I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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