I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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