who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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