Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
i need some magic done to my vagina
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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