That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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