i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
