did you get engaged???
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
