Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
