The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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