but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
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Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
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He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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