Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
