I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize