you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize