so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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