Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
