He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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