someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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