Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
