5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
