She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
