Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
