try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
