Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
